Tweet...Tweet...Tweet

Rockin' Robin? Oh, I wish. But no. I am in charge of getting the Twitter account up and running for the firm. After all, "this is the business networking wave of the future," and blahdie blah blah blah. Oh how I miss the days when the term "network" was a noun that referred to computer stuff beyond my ken rather than a verb that refers to marketing stuff beyond my ken.

Anyway...here we are.

"We" wanted to have this up and running and able to spout off one liners by January 4, 2010. I have it all set up, but NOW WHAT?

I have read 15 articles in the last few months saying "you MUST use Twitter for your business. You MUST!" I have listened to two presentations, and met with one consultant with the very same party line.

Yet NO ONE can seem to tell me exactly HOW to do this. They only tell me that I MUST do it. What they don't seem to understand is that I am secretly a boneheaded moron (or not so secretly, as it turns out, but whatever) and I don't know what to do next! I don't know HOW to "make Twitter work for me." I don't get it.

So I appeal to you, my favorite people in the blogosphere. HOW DOES TWITTER WORK? How do you get people to "follow" you? How often should I "tweet?"

I can't even say "I tweeted" with a straight face. It sounds like something I wouldn't want anyone to overhear or know about. I feel like I am grade school when I say it, and I want to giggle like a school girl too.

So HOW am I supposed to DO it, if I can't even SAY it?

I am clearly and chronically stupid. Please help me.

Merry Christmas

...to one and all!