Monday, January 11, 2010

Jilted

Deep down I always new he'd leave me someday. I knew someone else would come along who was bigger and brighter and better. But through our years together, he seemed so happy that I allowed myself to hope that he really loved me enough to stay forever...the way I loved him.

But that's all over now. He has left and I am heart broken.

Of course I should thank him for the good years, because they were very very good. I will look back on those years with complete joy. I know I may very well never see their like again...rich and wonderful days with him by my side, smiling that wonderful smile that made me think we had really built something strong and lasting.

But it was all an illusion. At the first sign of trouble, he bolts. Without warning. Without preamble. Poof! Gone!

Many say I should wish him well...I should be happy for him, and want what's best for him. But I don't. I hope his new affair becomes a dismal failure. I hope he has made the biggest mistake of his life. I hope he suffers.

Maybe this is selfish of me, but I don't care. I am bitter, and I freely admit it. Why shouldn't I be? He left me. I adored him, and he just left me here alone and confused. Why should I be happy that he found someone else to share his life? That he left me here, a broken shell of my former self?

Leave if you must...I cannot make you stay. But expect no happy "fare thee well" from me, Pete Carroll.

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